Noise

My normally quiet coffee shop is anything but quiet today. Maybe it’s the buzz that always comes with a new season. Maybe the sun and the blue skies serve as an invitation to get out and face the world even if it would be easier to stay in bed. 

It’s loud here. I’m surrounded by people in all stages of life. A little boy who is perfectly content with seeing how many chocolate chips he can pick out of his muffin. His grandpa who is content with watching him do just that. But for everyone here, whether young or old, quiet or loud, there seems to be a common theme surrounding us all… “Pick me. Choose me. See me. Make me feel like I matter to you.”

But isn’t that what we all crave? We all just want to know that it would be different without us. If we didn’t show up- someone would notice. And more than that- someone would miss us. But it’s more comfortable not to go there. That opens up a door to rejection, so we don’t talk about it. We carry on, ignoring the question that lingers like an elephant in the room, and we remain hopeful that we do matter. 

So even when the people around you don’t say this, know it is true- you matter and you always will. You’re needed. This space that you’re standing in would not be the same without you in it. You have impact which runs deeper than you know. You are adored. You need people, and people need you. You are always worth fighting for. You aren’t something to be sorry for. You are okay. You are enough. Always hold on to that.

Answers

The more time that goes on, the more I realize how few answers I really have. But I think I’m okay with that. Maybe I don’t need to know the answers. This is life. And some of us pretend like we have it figured out but truly none of us do. We don’t know the end results of most things. But isn’t that okay? And even more than okay, isn’t that kind of beautiful? The fact that life is just one, big, spontaneous dance. And we don’t know the next step, but at the end of it all, we can look back and see the story that was written with our lives. I think that’s all I need to know, that every part of life, while crazy and filled with chaos, is meaningful. And that these ashes will always end with something beautiful.  

Mountaintops

Sometimes, God calls us to the mountaintops and things get real because instead of just singing about those places, you really have to go there. Sometimes, he calls us to the places that we’d rather not go, but we can say yes knowing that He goes along with us. Seasons change. Callings change. I change. Jesus never changes. He is good where I can’t find good. He lights my path with the kind of light to keep me going, while still realizing my dependency on him. He teaches me how to illuminate that which has been in the dark. He shows me what it looks like to live a life of surrender. He tells me that it’s okay to come out of hiding. 
Sometimes, He comes like fire. A fire that has to be let out. A fire that looks like love and passion. A fire that burns up apprehension and hesitation. Sometimes, he comes like the rain, cleansing me and making me new. Covering me in grace for the days to come. At times I walk with confidence and at times I fall backwards- yet I never fall so far that He isn’t there to catch me. 
Then I realize that surrender to Him is to rest in safety. To give up control is to gain freedom. To follow even the hardest of callings is to receive the greatest of blessings, and that this life is ultimately a journey to the mountaintops with Him.